01SNOWFLAKE
The app only works on Dave’s machine
The build depends on a laptop, a folder of undocumented steps and one engineer’s memory. New hires lose their first week to setup, and every "works for me" bug costs a day of archaeology instead of a diff between two images.
02FEAR
Releases are events, so they happen monthly
Deploys mean a maintenance window, a checklist in a wiki and someone SSH-ed in at 11pm. Because each release is risky, you batch changes, and the bigger the batch, the riskier the release. Fear compounds itself.
03DRIFT
Staging passed. Production didn’t.
Dev, staging and prod run different OS versions, env vars and library patches, configured by hand, drifted for years. Tests certify an environment that no longer resembles the one your customers hit.
04SECRETS
Credentials live in .env files and Slack threads
Database passwords in the repo history, API keys pasted between teammates, nothing rotated since the person who set it up left. One leaked laptop or one disgruntled exit and every system is exposed at once.